Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
