I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
