If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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