I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
