i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
