He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize