So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
