dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
