I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
