My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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