so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My dick has a subreddit
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize