hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
