How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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