I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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