You just made me feel so damn special
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
