its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
