Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize