id be glad to
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
