new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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