Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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