Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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