It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Quick, to the slutcave!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You were trust falling into bushes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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