I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
