R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
