Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
