people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we're making bets on your personal life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
