chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
