Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
