No stitches, just platelets and will power
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
