i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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