hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
