You made me cry and you don't even care
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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