This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it's like iHOP with fire
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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