white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
