I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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