it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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