around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
