Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
