I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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