chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
