You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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