She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
All the doctor said was why
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
