It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
