I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
