i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
