just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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