Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
