do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
