Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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