I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
