you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
