she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
