walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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