but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
