Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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