Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize