shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
