dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
