I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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