Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
