I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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