Its about making memories worth repressing
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
