I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
