me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
