i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
zippers are such a cool invention
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
