just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
